Do's and Don'ts

I remember Vivek, the Tamil comedian, in a movie, stating the difference between India and a western country. In India, you may piss in public, but may not kiss. In a western country, you may kiss, but may not piss in public. This pretty much sums up the state of our country. The lack of hygeine - both socially and mentally. So what happens if I kiss my wife in public? My wife will be blushing, some perverts will be drooling, some aunties and uncles, and the moral police will be frowning, some youngsters will notice that I love my wife (and they might want to do the same with their spouse/partner), my son will most probably smile and want to kiss us both (oh yeah, it is contagious), and what else? So if my son is happy, my wife is blushing, this means whatever I have done is nice and may be sweet too. So why the bloody hell is the moral police frowning? Because, they think that love is something that you should do in your bed, in missionary position. Touching my wife is something that I should be doing in my bed, above said position. Any place else, (and position), my wife becomes a prostitute and I become a gigolo. You can get arrested for kissing in public, you can get suspended from college for hugging in public. So instead of kissing and hugging, we should rather be pelting stones at buses, spitting and pissing on the roads, littering everywhere, smoking in public, waiting in the long queue before the "Beverages" sales outlet, installing hidden cams in public toilets, harassing girls when they are alone during dark hours, rape the girls when you get a chance. Oh yeah, that sounds like a morally correct society. By the way, girls should wear churidar or saree, and should cover up themselves except for their eyes so that they can see the immorals coming and stay away from them. If they wear tight jeans or short skirts, the morally correct will lose their control and molest a 3 year old child. All the fault of the girls who wear inappropriate dresses! Damn you girls! You are spoiling all the mama's sweet little boys in town. And as for the immorals who kiss in public and not piss in public, you are following the western culture. The child-molesting, porn-addicted, smoking, alcoholic, perverted, rapists will soon come and kick your butts. They will do everything to preserve the morality of this country! And so will the governments and police in this country. India will soon emerge as a global super-power with the help of these moralists. And all the immorals in this country will crawl into their holes and live in shame.