8 Abuses of Social media

1. Bitching - Most widely used. People who do not open their mouth in real life can be as vocal (duh!) as they dream to be. The fun part is that person A can bitch about person B to person C and persons D, E, F, G, 1, 2, 3, @, %, ^ can all join and start bitching about persons M, N, O, P, ), (, *, &, etc. and persons x, y, z can ask some random people to go f**k themselves for killing Siberian Blue Panthers
2. Warning - Widely used. The best source of advice on why you should not cross your legs while sleeping, why you should never eat samosas with chai, why you should never wash your hair in the morning, etc. etc. etc. Also warning on drugs that are banned in the US and freely available in India. And what KFC puts in their chicken - do you know they actually kill the chicken before they fry? Damn those b***ards!
3. Charity - Heavily used. Facebook will pay 1$ for each fwd of this message to the man who lost both his head and tailbone trying to hold on watching a recent Dileep movie. Oh and that cute little two year old baby who needs blood for her surgery still needs blood. Even though she is the mother of a two year old now. Turns out that she is a vampire!
4. Selfies - Isn't that the reason for having facebook? Like a book of faces? Selfies come in all forms and can beat your wildest imagination. While conducting a well-orchestrated burglary, on scenes of accidents, with his grandfather's dead body (oh yes!), while on shopping, while in the toilet (you don’t believe me, do you?), in school, in college, at work, and where not.
5. Product or service reviews- Widely used. Do you know that airtel is the worst mobile service provider? Vodafone is your best bet. Don’t even think about Aircel. Reliance has a simple issue - reliability. Idea is pathetic, BSNL does not even exist. Actually you should go for airtel, which is the best. Or better, you go for aircel or Reliance. But never for Vodafone.
6. Movie reviews - Widely used. From fans, its more or less like a dog's diary. Today I played fetch with my master - best day of my life. Today I played in the pool with my master - best day of my life. Today I got a bubble bath from my master - best day of my life. From fans of other stars, it is like a cat's diary - Today, the man was so disgustingly dressed that I puked in his carpet. Does he even know what he is doing? I wish he would trip on that garden hose and break his neck. Such a disgrace to humanity and a threat to cat-ity.
7. Status updates - If you don't do it, you do not exist in the digital realm. Feeling bored with - wife, two kids, a playstation, 50 inch 3D HD LED TV, Blu-ray player, tons of blu-ray discs, beautiful weather outside, and a hell lot of money in the bank. But no one asks this dude to get up, wear a pant and take his kids outside to play! Or at least watch a movie with his family. Or just talk to them. Feeling sad - 100 people ask her what happened, be strong, stay calm, just chill. No one tells her to get a life! If you are really sad, you don't post on facebook! If you do, it’s a minor thing that should pass easily. I guess playing victim does feel good.
8. Unnecessary stuff - Moderate to heavily used. Anything other than the above. Showing off, sharing jokes and memes, sharing photos of friends and family, etc., etc., etc. Generally, the harmless part that can get harmful if not used carefully.